I still remember the days you didn't feel the need to escape

I really want to be ther person who can say what she feels
and have no regret.
I hold myself back in fear of rejection.

I mean,do you sit back
watch someone hurt & learn?
or do you just let it happen like a car accident?

I guess you can't trully stop it.
Everything happens for a reason
and it's not my life to lead.

I do wish I could stop things from happening
but people shouldn't be protected...
you have to take chances.
Learn for yourself.

I suppose there was no point to this.
I just answered everything.
I just needed a space to spill it.

This is all about taking risks.
You don't want to look back
and wonder "what would happen if I had..?"
Im trying to make myself live on impulse.
but it's hard to switch from protecting yourself
to being out there and letting whatever may happen...happen.

Live&flow.

Watch the tide

& take note.

You have to learn to step back
let people fall and pick themselves back up
but always be there to kiss the wound.

I find it funny how we cheat ourselves out of living
everyone is guilty of it.
don't sit back and wonder what will happen.

Im sitting back and observing right now.
It's amazing.

I haven't been living all this.
but once you realize it could end in one fail swoop,
you love everything breath and every smile.

People learn.
Things change.

We'll be here till the end.

People amaze me.
everyday is a learning expirence.
take chances.learn.grow.

Paint the world for yourself.

Hips&cars

hopeful&hopeless

I hate seeing pain.
and being the cause of pain.

I want to see the smiles
& hear the laughter.

thoughts scare me.
as does sleep.

It's impossible to clear this head.
I know I shouldn't pretend.

I wish I could say everything that pops into my head.
and you would say everything you think.
Having everything out in the open is amazing.

I want to be able to sit down.
Tell you everything I've ever thought and not feel the need to take it all back.
I was that way.I can do it again.

I hate feeling like I can't say anything or do anything to help.
I can't help but feel responsible for the mood in the room.

I find no purpose in it.
but yet, I think it's needed.

I've found that I can solve everything with listening to a song.
or talking to a friend.

If I could, I would take everyone's burdens and put them all on me.
I can stand the pain in me.but not in others.


I really wish I could delete this all.
and start over.but hmm.

this isn't as pretty as I wish it could be.but I feel better.
and im ready to let go of this headache I've been holding in for three days.
I've found the cause.


Please live.

It always amazes me

How peoples minds work.

I feel like a skipping record.
sorry's and I love you's.
I hate it.
I hate being the liar this time.

It's only half the time.
When I sit here and think about it.
I make a decision.

I've learned.
Packed up my things a left.
You have failed to notice.
Your words still shake me more than anything.

I've come to need new people.
New places.
Old faces bring pain.
Change can be good.

I've found a solution.
Im awaiting the day im shaken
and awoken.

Get inside this mess

and take a ride.
I wish you knew how I felt about you.
then maybe you would feel more alive.

It's amazing how one event can change your whole out look on life.
You did that for me babe.
It's fucking amazing.

You never know how much you meant to someone.
Be careful what you say.
It will come back some day.

Im still running from that ocean.
but the thundering cloud is now upon me.
I can see the light shining threw the clouds.
It's so close.but too bright.

I walk around with my hood up now.
I can't stand the look of people.
It protects my vision.
I have this feeling
that if you look at me
you get the thought of what im thinking
you can read me like an open book.
and that fucking scares me to death.

One day.
I know I will be okay.
but for now.
Im content.

"Slow motion....See me let go..."

I've started this to start clearing my head.
It's so junked up with useless thoughts.
I need to clear them somehow.