hopeful&hopeless

I hate seeing pain.
and being the cause of pain.

I want to see the smiles
& hear the laughter.

thoughts scare me.
as does sleep.

It's impossible to clear this head.
I know I shouldn't pretend.

I wish I could say everything that pops into my head.
and you would say everything you think.
Having everything out in the open is amazing.

I want to be able to sit down.
Tell you everything I've ever thought and not feel the need to take it all back.
I was that way.I can do it again.

I hate feeling like I can't say anything or do anything to help.
I can't help but feel responsible for the mood in the room.

I find no purpose in it.
but yet, I think it's needed.

I've found that I can solve everything with listening to a song.
or talking to a friend.

If I could, I would take everyone's burdens and put them all on me.
I can stand the pain in me.but not in others.


I really wish I could delete this all.
and start over.but hmm.

this isn't as pretty as I wish it could be.but I feel better.
and im ready to let go of this headache I've been holding in for three days.
I've found the cause.


Please live.